The other day, my 12 ½-year-old daughter got her braces off and I was struck by her sparkly smile, newfound maturity, and inner beauty that was emanating from my little baby. Without thinking, I posted a photo of her on Instagram, a proud mom sharing this milestone with my 127 followers.

Within 4 seconds, I received 16 text messages from my daughter, all in caps, screaming at me what had I done, what was I thinking, it was the ugliest photo ever, and that I had to remove it immediately. I was stunned. It was a gorgeous photo, which was echoed in the many comments and likes that followed my post. However, that didn’t matter. My 12 ½-year-old felt blindsided. Her appropriate level of anger and surprise mixed with self-consciousness was a reminder that I had forgotten an essential step–to check with her before posting.

Now in all fairness, I, like so many parents, have been posting cute little photos of my family for years. Not too many, but just enough to document important, funny or heartwarming moments along the way of development. It had never mattered much to my children, and in fact, often they felt proud to see their faces and our adventures on my social media feed.

But this time, we had entered new territory, as my two children were now adolescents, forging their own online identity, something they cared very much about, as teenagers do, and something we parents never had to deal with growing up. I realized at that moment, that the issue of trust was creeping up in a new way in my relationship with my children, and I wanted to handle it well.

I started to think about how we develop trust as human beings, especially in the context of parent-child relationships, something I spend much of my time reinforcing in my work as a family therapist. Trust versus mistrust is the first stage in psychologist Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. It is known as the most crucial stage of development, where a child between birth to 18 months old learns if they can trust the people around them, and their needs are consistently met, then a foundation of trust is established and they will feel safe and secure in the world. Erickson also believed if you were able to trust your caregivers at this stage, then you were also more likely to form trusting relationships with others throughout the rest of your life. No pressure, right? But it makes sense.

The issue of trust is huge, and the work doesn’t stop at 18 months old–it is constantly revisited in relationships. Add this thing called the World Wide Web and Parent Bloggers, and we have a whole new set of problems. There is even a term used for parents who share too much about their children online. It’s called “sharenting”. Whether it be in the context of a blog post or an Instagram photo, parents often use these forums to vent, boast, share and connect with anyone from close friends and acquaintances to complete strangers.

Sharing online can be fun, helpful and even cathartic to the parent, but their children may experience it differently. The concern is that by the time a child turns 12-13, they come to realize that they already have a social media presence, but not one they had a say in creating. Sometimes, this can lead to feelings of embarrassment and overexposure with peers, getting teased or bullied, often leaving a child to feel that their parent doesn’t have their back. Sometimes there are more severe repercussions, such as identity theft, digital kidnapping or photos repurposed for inappropriate or illegal means.

Fortunately, there is a simple solution. Think and ask. Think if it is a good idea to post and ask your child for permission. Giving the child the right to say no before you post about them can allow the child to have control over their digital footprint. Modeling to our children to pause and think about digital identity is an important tool as we all navigate this new world of online sharing. Just asking your child the simple question, “Do you mind if I share this photo or story with other people?” can show respect and reinforce the kind of trust with our child that we have been working on since the day they were born.

By the way, I took my own advice and asked my daughter’s permission to share our story before writing this article. Her answer was filled with pride and ownership and trust that I have her back. And she wanted me to clarify that she wasn’t that upset about the sparkly toothed photo I posted on Instagram. Oh, the turbulence of adolescence.

The post The problem with “sharenting” appeared first on Flowertown.

Cannabis has been used for thousands of years. While it’s gone from a common form of medicine to an outlawed substance and then back again, it’s heralded and sensationalized usage has created a myriad of stereotypes and stigmas that are, essentially, completely false.

From stoned-out surfer bros to dirty, Deadhead hippies and everyone between, cannabis has cultivated it’s fair share of characters that may reflect a certain stereotype.

But, for the most part, all these stereotypes are exactly that: Stereotypes, stigmas and falsehoods. So as cannabis slowly leaves Prohibition, it’s also time to leave behind the stigmas and stereotypes.

But this invokes the question of how, exactly, do we erase decades of purposeful stigmatization? Normalization is one of our best bets in doing this and something that you can do every day in what are, essentially, small and mundane ways.

While we may have outlined some of them below, this is just the tip of the iceberg for how you can change the way cannabis is viewed in your own life.

It might not change the world, but it could change the world around you. Beyond that, what more can you ask for?

What we talk about when we talk about cannabis

In the words of Don Draper, “If you don’t like what’s being said, change the conversation.” One of the easiest, and most important, ways we can destigmatize cannabis is to change what we talk about when we talk about cannabis.

We can do this by changing the language we use in regards to this plant. For example, instead of calling it “pot,” “weed,” or “marijuana,” just call it cannabis. In fact, marijuana was a term used as a way to stigmatize cannabis by associating it with Mexican-American immigrants in the 1930s, born out the Reefer Madness-era of propaganda.

Other ways you can be more proactive in your language is to use terms like “pre-roll” in lieu of “joint” and “flower” instead of “bud.”

Avoid stereotypes

It’s easy to let cannabis (and cannabis users) fall into its stereotypes, even if we’re just joking about it. This doesn’t help the cause and only reinforces negative connotations.

While it’s true that certain strains and terpenes make you hungry (munchies) or can create a sense of “couch lock,” which contributes to the overall idea of a lazy stereotype, you don’t have to deal with these side effects.

Cannabis has become so hyper-specified to whatever experience you want to have, it’s almost inexcusable for people to fall into the same stereotypical behavior as twenty, ten, even five years ago.

Cannabis can be used now to make you more productive, to help heal ailments, and even improve your diet.

“Just act normal, man.”

While the sage advice of “just act normal, man” may have been reserved for being a little too high in public places in high school, it’s actually pretty useful in the grand scheme of things.

You can be all talk, but if you really want to bring cannabis to the forefront of popular consciousness, why not just integrate it into your everyday life?

At your next backyard barbeque, put out a tray of pre-rolls or low-dosage edibles next to the adult drinks (make sure you label them so your friends know what they’re getting into).

That way cannabis is just a casual part of the evening and not something to be sequestered into someone’s bedroom, a practice full of secrecy and shame.

People are free to partake or not. Much like how a cooler of beers normalizes the presence (and consumption) of beer at a party, so too does a display of cannabis.

Be honest

Responsible cannabis use involves keeping it out of the hands of children, obviously. But if they ever asked about it, what would you say?

You could be honest and open about it.

Educate them on the plant, explaining its medical benefits for those with disabilities or going through therapy. But it’s imperative to talk about it in an appropriate way, making it clear that it’s safe for responsible adults to use from time to time.

Cannabis and parenting has become a new, major issue in the community as recreational legalization moves across the country. It’s important for active parents to learn how to have a dialogue with their children about this complex plant.

Vote!

Exercising your civic duty is a critical aspect of being an American, as well as a cannabis user.

Political activism is the only thing that has brought legalized usage to America and it’s essential for perpetuating that movement. If you want to to reap the benefits of cannabis in your state, do your part and vote in local elections.

But, in addition to voting, educating your fellow consumers and peers is just as important. To learn more about cannabis yourself, take a look at how cannabis can be used to prevent migraines or even ease joint pain with topicals.

The post Simple ways to destigmatize cannabis in your own life appeared first on Flowertown.

The acceptance of medical marijuana has become a game changer in the lives of so many. From arthritis in the elderly to anxiety in the working class, and even epilepsy in children.

But, being able to make access to medical cannabis available to any and all who need it or could benefit from it, will take an act of Congress (both literally and figuratively).

But getting it to the children, whose lives could drastically change for the better because of this powerful plant, is an even greater hurdle.

Breaking through stigma, one state at a time

For starters, there are still three states that don’t allow any form of cannabis use (Idaho, South Dakota, and Nebraska). The remaining 47 states place restrictions on use that vary wildly between each.

Those restrictions include limiting cannabis to medicinal purposes only, limiting medicinal products to only low THC, high CBD ratios, or restricting the number of medical conditions doctors are allowed to prescribe cannabis products to.

For instance, in North Carolina, patients can be prescribed CBD oil only if they have intractable epilepsy. Additionally, it can’t be administered by a caregiver.

Add the word “minor” to the equation and the laws only get more restrictive, confusing, and in many cases contradictory.

Finding a doctor that will prescribe it to your child is one issue, the other (and arguably greater) one is when and where cannabis can be administered to children. Because, in many states, the use or even possession of cannabis within so many feet of a school zone is illegal.

Ashley’s Law & the future of cannabis and kids

Where does all that leave kids with conditions like epilepsy, perinatal brain injuries, neuroblastoma, or behavioral conditions such as autism? Or what about mentally handicapped children prone to self-injurious behavior? All of which are conditions that research suggests cannabis products can help.

Well for kids in Illinois, things just got easier.

On August 1st, Illinois Governor Bruce Rauner signed a law that requires public schools to allow parents to administer medical cannabis products to their children, provided they have been legally prescribed the medication.

Parents can give their kids their medicine anywhere on school grounds or on the school bus.

The law does allow for the school to make some exceptions. Administrators can prevent parents from providing the medical cannabis product if they feel it is being exposed to other students, or if it is causing a “disruption to the school’s educational environment.”

Maureen and Ashley Surin by Chicago Sun Times – CC BY

The new regulation was dubbed “Ashley’s Law” after 12-year-old Hanover Highlands Elementary School student, Ashley Surin. Ashley’s doctors prescribed her a low THC, high CBD patch and a lotion to treat her epilepsy, a condition that was caused by the chemotherapy she received for leukemia.

Ashley’s parents say the medicine has eliminated her seizures, and that she’s gone from speaking one to two words at a time to using full sentences. For Ashley and kids like her, medical marijuana can mean the difference between thriving in school and being unable to even attend.

It took a federal lawsuit brought by Ashley’s parents, and a dispensation from the attorney general’s office, to get her permission to wear her patch and use her cannabidiol lotion in school.

Now Ashley’s Law will expand that permission to the other 279 kids and counting who qualify for medical marijuana treatments under Illinois law. Let’s hope this paves the way for other states to consider a more compassionate legal standard.

While this may be new ground in the legal cannabis world, the complex relationship between parent, child, and cannabis isn’t anything new. Family therapists recommend establishing a healthy and open dialogue between parents and their kids about cannabis in both a recreational and medical setting.

The post Cannabis & kids: Expanding the medicine to minors appeared first on Flowertown.

We asked our favorite marriage and family therapist, Melissa Brohner-Schneider, what she thought about the viral video trend circulating the internet where parents and family members convince their younger kids that they’re actually invisible.

She let us in on some of the potential ramifications of the prank.

The Invisibility Prank – a new fad that has gone viral – might be fun for some, but it comes with some serious potential for emotional damage.

The prank involves tricking a child into thinking they have been turned invisible, where no one can see them. Then filming this reaction, which is usually one of intense disbelief, upset and panic. The prankster then magically makes the child reappear, revealing to them that this has all been a trick, usually while everyone watching is hysterically laughing.

While pranks are meant to trick and tease and entertain, this one can create lasting damage, especially for more vulnerable children who are already prone to anxiety, low self-esteem, or have a history of trauma.

It plays on some of our most primitive needs as human beings; the need to trust, the need to be seen, the need to control. The need not to be shamed.

Too early for existential crises

This prank can be traumatic on so many levels. If you watch the video footage circling the internet, kids are feeling terrified that they are actually invisible. No matter what they do or say, beg, plead or cry, they can not make their family members see them. Terrifying.

Then, being further tricked into believing the spell is real, they are made visible again, and in their most vulnerable state of terror and relief, their family members laugh hysterically at them, leaving them feeling ashamed, embarrassed and quite alone in the joke.

Often, this video is then shared on social media, so the sense of humiliation is brought to a whole new disturbing level for anyone to see.  The aftermath of such a prank could leave a child feeling a deep sense of anger, mistrust, and fear in people who are supposed to be trustworthy.

It’s true we all need more humor in our lives, but it’s important that we model to our children how to do it in a way that’s not mean spirited or unkind. It’s imperative that we don’t dismantle the trust every child needs, just for a good laugh.

While parenting in the modern age can be a complicated and mystifying endeavor, even more twists and turns have been added with the legalization of recreational cannabis. To get through the maze, take a look at how cannabis use can co-exist with being a responsible role model

The post Ask an Expert: What does the invisibility prank do to your kids’ trust? appeared first on Flowertown.

While California may have found a way to get rid of all plastic bags from grocery stores, the same isn’t entirely true for the cannabis sector yet.  

Of course, not being federally accepted puts certain aspects of the industry decades behind, the waste management and packaging section is still playing catch-up and doing what it can with what dispensaries and brands are allowed to do. 

So if you’ve been to your local dispensary lately, you probably noticed a change in how you carry your cannabis home.  

The notoriously difficult to open exit bags have left the building in exchange for childproof packaging on individual products. 

Why the change? 

Though it might seem sudden, this is no surprise to anyone in the marijuana industry.  

As California gets its sea legs with recreational use, manufacturers and dispensaries have enjoyed some wiggle room when it comes to packaging.  

Traditional cannabis packaging was still allowed as long as all products were sealed in the notorious child- (and, let’s be honest, sometimes adult-) proof bags. 

Of course, once you get home, your pre-rolls, topicals, and edibles are promptly removed, where they are easily accessible to kids. As part of various regulations that went into effect on July 1, 2018, this will no longer be an issue. 

Why is this great news? 

Now, everything from your flower to your tinctures comes with familiar child-proof tops (think about your run-of-the-mill pain reliever) that also provide some type of seal.   

These seals, now the burden of the manufacturer, help you know if your cannabis has been tampered with. In fact, the only way your dispensary can alter packaging is by affixing a “medical use only” sticker. 

In addition to keeping small kids out of your marijuana and knowing your cannabis has been sealed for freshness and quality from the source, you can also finally stop stockpiling those plastic, Rubik’s cube bags.  

Much like your grocery totes, you probably forgot your exit bags at least once when going to replenish your flower. Since they often have some cannabis branding on them, these bags were hardly inconspicuous items to keep in your car, bag, or at work.  

Instead of broadcasting your purchase (or intent to purchase), you can now just get discreet packaging that easily slips into a bag of your choice.  

How to put your own spin on it 

Whether you have kids at home or you just like having aesthetic authority over your gear, there’s a sleek container just waiting to securely stow your precious cargo.  

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